I have been incredibly blessed. I have amazing parents, amazing brother, extended family, my own amazing children and I am truly seeing Jesus through all of them. I am feeling a healing in my heart; a calming coming over me.
Previous to my accident and I was trying to make some very tough decisions and trying to carry all the weight on my shoulders. I would ask God for help but never really hand it completely over to him thus making me feel like I was on a hamster wheel of craziness.
It seems that I am really learning that God has my back. It doesn't mean that all of those decision's are made but I am learning to trust in him, that I am anointed in him. The anointing thing...that has really grabbed me.
Me! this woman that works 40 hours a week, struggles to stay productive because I really just miss my kids, who overeats to comfort those struggles, who can't really cook to save my life but I want to...kinda. This woman who loves my kids so passionately and hurts that I am not able to spend more time with them. This woman who has vowed to get over my anxieties who doesn't keep up on the house work as much has she would like, who has been less than adequate in sharing God's word with others and sometimes I feel down right stepped on!
BUT I have been anointed by my Jesus, the one who came and died for MY sins! My Jesus is right here holding my hand! I am asking him to make me God aware.... that I think first about what his attitude or action would be.
Just now I went back and read some of my old blog posts. As I am writing this it just felt like too much was pouring out. I didn't want what ever God is saying through me to get lost due to my humanness:) I came across a blog from several months ago when we had received Jackie's muscle biopsy results and I said she had the strength of David (from David and Goliath) running through her veins. The neat thing is that my Mom and I are currently in a Bible study at church on David. Just last night we had class and I told Mom in not so many words that I was feeling kind of discouraged about Jackie's future. Just when I needed it...(TODAY) God slowed me down made me take a deep breath and showed me that previous post I had written. Thank you Jesus!
I have so much more I could say but don't feel its necessary today.
Thank you Jesus for you're discernment, your love and your foregiveness.
No comments:
Post a Comment