A lot has changed since my last blogpost. You will notice that the name has changed for a start. I plan on using this blog as a way to work through my life changes and a way to document the new chapter of my life. I am currently legally separated, have a new job and am the sole provider for my three girls.
Last January the kids and I moved home from my moms and back in with my husband. At christmas my husband bought me a new wedding ring as a sign of our renewed commitment to eachother. While I was recovering from the car accident he took such great care of me and I thought he had changed. Soon after moving home things started to fall apart. Through a series of events I developed hives from the emotional stress. It didn't take long to figure out that it was not an alergic reaction to anything. I tried to find ways to cope with it and finally in April I filed and had him leave.
Since then I have had to figure out how to be a single parent again, really I was all along financially and emotionally he just helped with some of he house work. I believe the kids and I have found a routine that works for us and that we love.
About 2 1/2 months ago I found a new job after 4 1/2 years at my previous job. My new job is completely different and challanging. I am so much happier where I am at and have more time with the girls.
The kids are doing great and are thriving from the changes that have occured. Its a challange to stay up on the house work and keep up with everything but we are doing good.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Amazed
I have been incredibly blessed. I have amazing parents, amazing brother, extended family, my own amazing children and I am truly seeing Jesus through all of them. I am feeling a healing in my heart; a calming coming over me.
Previous to my accident and I was trying to make some very tough decisions and trying to carry all the weight on my shoulders. I would ask God for help but never really hand it completely over to him thus making me feel like I was on a hamster wheel of craziness.
It seems that I am really learning that God has my back. It doesn't mean that all of those decision's are made but I am learning to trust in him, that I am anointed in him. The anointing thing...that has really grabbed me.
Me! this woman that works 40 hours a week, struggles to stay productive because I really just miss my kids, who overeats to comfort those struggles, who can't really cook to save my life but I want to...kinda. This woman who loves my kids so passionately and hurts that I am not able to spend more time with them. This woman who has vowed to get over my anxieties who doesn't keep up on the house work as much has she would like, who has been less than adequate in sharing God's word with others and sometimes I feel down right stepped on!
BUT I have been anointed by my Jesus, the one who came and died for MY sins! My Jesus is right here holding my hand! I am asking him to make me God aware.... that I think first about what his attitude or action would be.
Just now I went back and read some of my old blog posts. As I am writing this it just felt like too much was pouring out. I didn't want what ever God is saying through me to get lost due to my humanness:) I came across a blog from several months ago when we had received Jackie's muscle biopsy results and I said she had the strength of David (from David and Goliath) running through her veins. The neat thing is that my Mom and I are currently in a Bible study at church on David. Just last night we had class and I told Mom in not so many words that I was feeling kind of discouraged about Jackie's future. Just when I needed it...(TODAY) God slowed me down made me take a deep breath and showed me that previous post I had written. Thank you Jesus!
I have so much more I could say but don't feel its necessary today.
Thank you Jesus for you're discernment, your love and your foregiveness.
Previous to my accident and I was trying to make some very tough decisions and trying to carry all the weight on my shoulders. I would ask God for help but never really hand it completely over to him thus making me feel like I was on a hamster wheel of craziness.
It seems that I am really learning that God has my back. It doesn't mean that all of those decision's are made but I am learning to trust in him, that I am anointed in him. The anointing thing...that has really grabbed me.
Me! this woman that works 40 hours a week, struggles to stay productive because I really just miss my kids, who overeats to comfort those struggles, who can't really cook to save my life but I want to...kinda. This woman who loves my kids so passionately and hurts that I am not able to spend more time with them. This woman who has vowed to get over my anxieties who doesn't keep up on the house work as much has she would like, who has been less than adequate in sharing God's word with others and sometimes I feel down right stepped on!
BUT I have been anointed by my Jesus, the one who came and died for MY sins! My Jesus is right here holding my hand! I am asking him to make me God aware.... that I think first about what his attitude or action would be.
Just now I went back and read some of my old blog posts. As I am writing this it just felt like too much was pouring out. I didn't want what ever God is saying through me to get lost due to my humanness:) I came across a blog from several months ago when we had received Jackie's muscle biopsy results and I said she had the strength of David (from David and Goliath) running through her veins. The neat thing is that my Mom and I are currently in a Bible study at church on David. Just last night we had class and I told Mom in not so many words that I was feeling kind of discouraged about Jackie's future. Just when I needed it...(TODAY) God slowed me down made me take a deep breath and showed me that previous post I had written. Thank you Jesus!
I have so much more I could say but don't feel its necessary today.
Thank you Jesus for you're discernment, your love and your foregiveness.
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